First off.. Thanks Erica! I had a friend stop by today and bring me flowers and chocolate.. which I just ate (thanks alot!) I actually had 2 instances where friends made me feel special today so thank you guys!
Pajama day for Mad..
Snack after dance.
Rich jumped in for some shots..
ummm
Kaden wasnt sure what that was all about.. but we thought it was funny!
About the "incident"....
I earlier wrote on FB that I had a run in with a woman.. there was to much to explain to write it all out on FB so here it all is.
I earlier wrote on FB that I had a run in with a woman.. there was to much to explain to write it all out on FB so here it all is.
Today (and I wont say where, as I dont want this coming back to haunt me) I walked into a room and saw a White woman holding an Asian little girl, I continued about my business with Malia walking beside me and I noticed the woman notice Malia.
The thing for me when I walk around with Malia I walk around with her not thinking.. this is my adopted daughter, I walk around knowing this is my daughter.. thats it. Im not looking for attention. AND so when I notice people notice US I try to ignore it.. I dont want to draw attention because I dont want Malia to feel different. I know it will happen but still I try avoid that at all costs. K sorry I had to explain that so here it goes...
Anyways I notice that the woman keeps staring at me and Malia, and Im feeling very awkward so I finally turn and smile and say O who is this (towards her daughter) the little girl points and says "mommy" to the lady and I say "ya thats your mommy" to which the lady says "Where'd you get yours?" Uhhhhhh I first off was shocked that this woman who has obviously adopted would use such words.. Where'd you get yours... um Costco?? Target?? YOURS?? Are you kidding me?! So I said "We ADOPTED HER from S. Korea" to which she then explains that they were going to go there to0 but decided to go to China instead and that they are going to get ANOTHER ONE as soon as her oldest turns 18. And then continues to Brag I mean explain that they will get another waiting child.. as if this makes her some very wonderful person. Im sorry but Malia was a waiting child and I dont think that makes us any greater for adopting her than if we adopted a perfectly "healthy" child. I do think it takes amazing people to take on certain special needs.. but when you are bragging about it.. well you know what I mean right!?
K sorry but that totally put me off. I would never talk about my child in that way. Like she was some collectors item, something that was cute and I bought one too. It wasnt a fad for me it was something I know God placed in my heart.
Anyways so as time went on and we were in this same area for 30 minutes the way she acted really bothered me. This was a woman who was showing off her baby.. not because she was proud of her darling daughter but because it was look at me I have an Asian baby, arent I cool.
I left feeling really disgusted and disturbed.
I know that most families adopt because like us it was in their heart. But there have been instances where I have seen this kind of behavior where these people act as though they are so cool because they adopted and have this cute little Asian doll to show off. It drives me absolutely nuts when I am talking to people and they say O I want to adopt from China too... there is no substance behind it, its just something that sounds cool. Well it drives me nuts, and I think its these kind of people who have put a stigma on Adoption, where other people view us as I viewed this woman. I think these are the type of people that help create the "thats their Adopted daughter" rather than that is THEIR DAUGHTER.
I have been very lucky not to have had any run ins so far with Malia and people saying dumb things, but I was very struck by this woman who has adopted and has future plans of adopting but seemingly is doing it for all the wrong reasons.
I dont often write about this kind of stuff because I dont want the backlash Ive seen fellow bloggers get, but I really was so bothered by this all day and had to get it off my chest. I can still hear her tone of voice as she said Where'd you get yours and Im gonna get another one. I cant help but think, what will happen to this sweet baby when she is older and maybe not as fun to show off??
I am not very eloquent with writing, so I hope I have written this in a way that makes sense!
11 comments:
It ALWAYS irks me when people treat their children as a status symbol.
Absolutely makes sense!
I am so sorry that you had that happen. Unfortunately, this might not be the last time. Maybe because of this experience you will be able to say something next time. Malia is a doll, but I know how hard you fought for her and the roller coaster you rode waiting for her. I wish other people knew your heart.
Out of all the smart (you know what) comments you make, you couldn't come up with something for her??? I'm disappointed KJ. You should have let her have it and you would have felt much better.
I really hope that you don't have to keep seeing her! She is really a bad example of what adoption is about...bringing families together on earth that were made in Heaven. It was so obvious through your whole process (after it was all said and done) that Malia was divinely placed in your family.
That is terrible! I thought you were going to tell me some horror story about adopting from China. I feel terrible for that little girl as I was adopted and know how it feels to be on the receiving end of that situation. You should defiantly have the right motives before you think about adoption. My reason for wanting to adopt from China is because these precious little girls aren't wanted because in the Chinese culture having a boy is what Women are born to do. I wish China would wake up! All children need to be wanted and loved they shouldn't have to come here and be treated like property.
YUCK!! I remember when Meg Ryan was adopting and the reports would say "the latest fashion accessory...an Asian baby" made me sick! I feel so sorry for this child.
That is just awful! So sorry you had to have be in that kind of situation! You waited for so long to have Malia in your family and she was meant for your family. I think you have every right to be upset and disturbed from that situation...sorry that had to happen!
Wow, that is CRAZY! I seriously can't believe how that woman refered to her child! I know many of you who have adopted and it is so OBVIOUS that those children were meant to be in your families! "where did you get yours?" That just kills me! Ugh, I hope that woman really feels differently about her child and just isn't good at articulating it...
People are just ridiculous sometimes! I had a similar thing happen to us yesterday that I plan on writing about as well.
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