Looking back

It has been an amazing year and so I thought I would take this opportunity to journal this year in hopes to remember how we got where we are...
Never at the beginning of this year did I ever think we would be waiting for a referral for a baby from Vietnam NEVER! I have always, always wanted to adopt and have always talked about a China baby (really asian baby) and how I would love to adopt one but never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that dream would come true. I have to say that I know the Lord put that desire in my heart and Im so greatful to Rich and my supportive friends and family for helping me reach to make that dream come true. It all happened really in the beggining of the year when I just knew I wanted another baby, A BABY... but I had no desire to have another bio baby. I started to work on Rich... then one day at the mall we were eating lunch and this adorable Asian family had a baby and I just started to cry and Rich looked up and saw what I was looking at and said O wow you really want a baby huh and then said dont worry baby I will get you a baby! But then it really wasnt until late spring that we started talking more openly about it. For me it was a daily thought but something I was trying to ignore... we have a good thing going 2 kids, great kids, we can go anywhere with them and have no worries why add when we have this perfect thing going?? But the Lord pushed harder and so did I.
Have you ever felt so strongly about something that sitting there you just got the chills?? That is what would happen to me every time I prayed or even thought about adopting. So thats when the bricks started to fall right on my head, fresh smacks in the face leaving marks saying DUH lady its time to adopt! I decided to fast and that day at church my dear friend Tirsa announced that there would be an adoption workshop type deal that Friday and O my it was date night and we already had a sitter! And I also heard from one of our missionaries that he was adopted and what a great gift it was to him. Then a good friend told me her story about being a 3 month old baby on the plane that crashed in Operation Baby Lift in Vietnam. Things just came together. And when we went to the class another sweet friend talked about Vietnam and adopting from there. I just knew that was were my baby was going to be.
So here we are about 7 months later joy and tears and paper cuts and all that comes with an adoption and I am just overwhelmed with how it came to be. The Lord knows me so well and I am convinced that he put this desire in my heart since I was a child. Im blessed that he gave me a husband who has an open heart and also has the desire. I have two awesome kids who are so excited about their sister and they have never put doubts in my head that they wont love this little girl. I am blessed to have dear sweet awesome friends who continue to cheer us on and always ask what is happening and wanting to be in the know! Two of these great friends even included Malia this Christmas by giving her gifts, which warmed my heart to the core. I have a great sister who continues to support also.
So what a blessed and exciting year it has been and I can not wait for next year at this same time having little Malia trying to type while I am needing to do diaper changes and bottles. The kids have been great this year seeming to learn and grow so fast.
I am humbled by this year and looking forward to the next! Malia here we come, I cant believe we will be a family of five hopefully by summer definately by fall!!
So thank you to all my supportive friends and family, it has been a great year of growing and learnin
*Sorry that was a long one!

Baby so gross!

Dear sweet Santa brought Maddie this adorable baby....NOT adorable!!! This baby eats food and drinks a bottle then POOPS and PEES. Yes so gross, so first we tried on Christmas fed her bananas and a bottle and she had a major blow out on my floor. I thought we would be done with her for awhile but yesterday that dang baby kept saying how hungry she was so Maddie convinced me to help feed her again.. OK so we laid out paper towels and fed her well after feeding her Peas and a bottle I noticed there was water in her mouth so I dumped her out in the sink and it was sooo gross I started dry heaving... Im a easy puker anyways and after rinsing and helping her puke a few times I just about lost my lunch with her. Then we changed her diaper and let me tell you baby doll peas turns into real looking baby poo! SO GROSS... but I thought I would share my pain with all of you........ guess it will be good practice for me and my big helper!

Baby eat your peas

Oh isnt that sweet!!

OO isnt that disgusting!
O Maddie is happy and so is baby!
Guess I will be a good mommy and let her do it in rare occasions because I can only handle so much fake baby poo and vomit!

Christmas pix

The Wii

Kaden digging in
Oh ya Oh ya

The Night Before Christmas... in our new comfy jammiesMaddie with her haul
Kaden ripping in
No present unturned
One of Malias gifts

Yeah Christmas!

We had a great Christmas!! It started on Christmas Eve where we started a new tradition of drawing each others names and buying them a gift that would be open that night, and that was so much fun (Maddie wanted her own name though). So we looked at lights opened our Eve gifts and new jammies then off to read The Night before Christmas, and yeah off to bed!
Rich and I stayed up pretty later testing things out "WINK WINK" and we had told Kaden he was NOT allowed to wake us up before 5:30 and so right on the night I was aware of a scratching on my blanket and there he was. I asked him if he wanted to sleep with us for a while but that didnt work. LOL
So he woke up Maddie and we brushed our teeth and downstairs we went. I think it is safe to say they made out pretty well. As Maddie proclaimed "That Santa knows what hes doing!"
Last year it took them no time at all to open everything but this year it almost took an hour because they were taking a little more time with each gift so that was nice.
After finishing their own they opened up Malias gifts and it was very sweet because they were very gentle and caring with her stuff and said O Malia will like that!
We then had a Merry good time with the new Wii (I know have Wii elbow) and just hung out and cleaned up and watched movies played games and with all the new stuff!
We had friends over for dinner which was very nice and our families went to town with the Wii too. Ive been surprised how much I even like it!! After they left we cleaned up and watched more movies and played more and finally went to bed!
I love Christmas I love what it brings out in people. The love that you can even feel for a stranger while you let them ahead in line or not care so much when you get bumped in the overcrowded stores and of course the pure magic in your children's eyes as they see that yes Santa did come this year! Maddies first words Christmas morning was I saw Santa on our roof!
Hope you all had an awesome Christmas too!
** Our very best gift was on Christmas Eve learning that our dossier was safe and sound and in the hands of our agency to get translated!

Wishing you..

..a Merry Christmas. I do love this time of year, I love the music that comes with the Holidays and the lights and the joy. Today in church we had so many talented people share their musical abilities and I was in complete awwww. I got chills and teary with a few of the songs!
And now after sitting and watching The Grinch who Stole Christmas (I love that movie) Kaden asked if he could help open Malias gifts on Christmas.... well this was part of the plan and I thought it was sweet that he was excited to do that, it is baby stuff and he knows it is nothing he will want to play with.
I feel like I miss her so much and yet I have never met her I haven't even seen her, heck she might not even be born, but I'm guessing with the love fest that comes with the Holidays I am missing her terribly and feeling an emptiness in our home.
There are many families waiting for their babies right now. There are families that I know that are waiting and will probably not get approval for their babies. I'm continuing to pray for these families and for our own. I know that we have been blessed with the time line we have been given so far. It never happens quick enough but we are lucky to not be a family loosing their referral. So for now Malia is in my heart and in my home in Spirit.
*Hope this wasn't a downer post, just wishing and hoping for this little one to get here soon!

Elephant in the room

We had a white elephant Christmas Party last night and it was a blast!! Now here are the awaited and feared pictures... I am only posting a few tame pics and Im keeping a few for blackmail later (Scott)!! We had about 11 couples, probly a few more than the house fit comfortably but everyone seemed to have a good time! Its always fun to see people let go a little and have some fun (Doug).... and everyone stayed good except baby Jude who let loose and lost his clothes half way through the night!! I am always shocked to see how dark my hair is in pictures, so included a pic of me with the others below. There were some really awesome white elephant gifts, the Zims brought a huge cutout of the Carls Jr. dude and it was so stinking funny to see that guy opened and he ended up getting stolen a couple times I think. I ended the night with a headache from laughing so hard all night, I thought my cheeks were going to fall off, always a good sign of a fun night! Any ways Im so glad we hosted and so glad its over and thanks to everyone who came we had so much fun!! Whos hosting next year??

Its party time!

Not paper airplanes

No not paper airplanes but there are a stack of papers that are in an airplane flying far far away!! I have been checking the Fedex website everyday to see if our dossier was done in San Fran and guess what... it is, it was mailed off today and is expected to arrive on Friday the 21st yes like 3 days away isnt that amazing?!? I feel very blessed to have this gift and though I would be excited anyways it does seem like a Christmas gift from up above!
Now we still have quite a wait ahead of us but the steps keep coming and I am feeling truely blessed and very excited! Please everyone pray that our dossier will find its way safely to its destination! Thanks

Christmas Recital

Maddies Recital

Here is Maddies recital dance Beauty and the Beast. She is on the far right struggling with those dang bows they made us put in her hair. I love at the end when she waves!! She didnt have one ounce of stage fright, she is a true showman or woman! Im so proud she did so good and I wish you could see her face better in this because she looks so dang cute!

*She had a second dance that was so cute but it is to big to upload. Im very sad because it happened to be the cutest one!

My Dancing Princess

I recorded the dancing on ice Nutcracker for Madison knowing she would love it and boy was I right. After watching one dance she made me stop it so she could change into her Belle dress and some socks so that she could skate around the floor. She did this for a whole hour!!

Cruel or just pretty dang funny?

So I got to babysit little Blake today and boy does he have a whole lot of hair so Maddie and I decided to have a little fun with him!!!

Ok yes he is a boy and yes that is not nice but I could not resist and Madison absolutely thought it was great! I also had to test out the sizes and if they would hold in hair that thin! So Scott eat your heart out isnt he adorable! And for the future sorry Blake!

Something sweet

As I was doing Maddies hair this morning we were talking about the snow and how she wanted to make a snow angel when she asked if my sister had gloves? I said yes Im sure Aunt Becki has gloves and she said no not Becki your sister far away I said Becki is my sister and Im sure she has gloves, she then said no your sister far far away Malia OOOOO my daughter YOUR sister I said LOL As I felt a bit teary she said O yes my sister does she have gloves so she doesnt get cold?? I just thought how sweet and simple of a thing she was concerned about. And though I dont know if my little Malia is even born and I for sure dont know if she will have any gloves but for sure she will have some when she gets home! I am at this time very thankful for my little girl who is so sweet to be worried about her baby sister!

He shoots he..............

SCORES

Yesterday Kadens team had their 2nd game and had a great win!! All the same boys have been on the same teams for b-ball and football so the have a great comradery(SP?)! BUT even though we have very talented boys we always seem to lose, so anytime we score we get a little overjoyed!! Kaden made a basket and we were very excited and we ended up winning the game! The coaches have been doing an awesome job teaching them new skills! YAAA KADEN!!

*Note the pumping of the fists and skipping after, he was very proud and excited for himself!

The Wait

Well its up to FEDEX now! Madison and I went to the Walgreens this morning for my 8 new passport photos (I had mine but couldnt fine 1 so I had to redue them all) and they werent ready well I let the lady know that they were supposed to be ready last night and that I need them NOW and so she got on it but then proceeded to talk to the other lady about the shirt I had worn in the picture and that I shouldve been sent home to change because of the color. WELL I was about to let her have it but I laid low but she knew I was annoyed and when we were done she left me with this.... bye and try to have a better day! LOL So then off to the bank for a money order then to FEDEX where I had a million papers needed 2 envelopes to mail in and one going international and one not and when trying to fill out the Vietnam address I needed help and asked the man for help saying I dont suppose you know anything about Vietnam addresses his reply......... well unfortunately I spents some time there a long time ago.... well DANG IT I need help and Im dealing with a disgruntled Vet YIKES! But I remained calm even though he decided he didnt want to help me with my Vietnam adoption papers and finally after 15 minutes I got some help! I understand he probly had a lot of memories.
So that was my morning, I was so excited to get that mailed off and have it out of my hands! I am no longer a paper chaser I am a waiting mommy! One of my fellow waiting moms shared this poem and I thought I would share with you all....

WAIT

Desperately, helplessly, longing, I cried:

Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,

And the master so gently said, "Child, you must wait.""Wait?

You say, wait!" my indignant reply.

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By Faith, I have asked, and am claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I can relate

Hangs in the balance and YOU tell me to WAIT?

I'm needing a `yes', a go-ahead sign,

Or even a `no' to which I can resign.

And Lord, You promised that if we believe

We need but to ask, and we shall receive.

And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:

I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate

As my Master replied once again, "You must wait.

"So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut

And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting…for what?

"He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,

And he tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead, and cause the mountains to run.

All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.

You would have what you want—But, you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;

You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;

You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;

You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me

When darkness and silence were all you could see.

You'd never experience that fullness of love

As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;

You'd know that I give and I save…(for a start),

But, you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight,

The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked

Of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST.

You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that "My grace is sufficient for Thee.

"Yes, your dreams for your love

done overnight would come true,

But, Oh, the Loss! If I lost what I'm doing in you!

So, be silent, My Child, and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.

And thought oft' may My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all is still, "WAIT."

Author unknown

Kadens new smile

We have known for quite awhile that Kaden was going to need braces and today he finally got them on! He has been very excited about it, appearently is the cool thing to have right now. He chose red and green for Christmas and they look really cool. He is very pleased and Im happy that he will have a great smile!

Before and After

blood sweat and tears..

This is what blood sweat and tears looks like.....

After 2 trips to Denver 1/2 tank of gas and $4 here is our completed dossier! Isnt it beautiful! I cant tell you the load that was lifted off my shoulders having this done and now the next step is to send it to be translated, but after I send it off I will never see it again. So with a nervousness I cant explain I will intrust FEDEX to take special care of my paper baby. After picking it back up today Madison had to celebrate by shopping of course, and here is what we found!

Celebritory shopping

Awareness

This is a great little video and an insight to where my little Malia might be or will be. Enjoy, it was very well done!

A Fun Name Game

I came across this on another blog that I follow and thought it was fun so Im hoping my good friends will follow suit and do the same!

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car)
Commander Snowball

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fav ice cream flavor, favoritecookie)
Grasshopper Oatmill Raisin

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of firstname, first three letters of your last)
K Jef

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favoriteanimal)
Red Cat or Red Dog (Im not sure my favorite animal anymore)

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where youwere born)
Leann Provo

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of yourlast name, first 2 letters of your first)
Jef Kr

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, first toolthat comes to mind, put “The” at the beginning)
Yellow the Screwdriver

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
Lou Kent

9. STRIPPER NAME : (favorite candy, the name of yourfavorite perfume/cologne)
Chocolate Escape

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle)
Illeen Kent

Ok I have some awesome names right!! LOL

!!HALLELUJAH!!

SO YES FINALLY!!! We checked the mail today and there it was in all its glory my golden ticket my hoorah hoorah my joy and my YES! The 171-H came!! Could you just pee your pants! I almost did! I couldnt believe it came and that I finally had it in my hands, it took me about 45 minutes to put it down and now I feel like locking it up somewhere!
So next step.... On Monday Tirsa (life saver and go to girl) is going with me to the Secretary of State where I will hand over all my hard work for them to certify? and State Seal all of our stuff.... then we will get it back and mail it off to where it will get translated to Vietnamese and then off Vietnam where we will be logged in and await a referral!!
I think that is how it will all go down.
We are so excited to be able to move on to the next step, I felt on Thursday that it was going to come this weekend after I said a prayer and lookie lookie!! I appreciate all the support we have receieved and I know that waiting for this next part will also be very had but I am excited beyond words to be here!
Lots and Lots of Love.... me!

Presents!

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My Crafty Sister

My sister is super crafty, she always has her house so cute and decorated and always comes up with cute things to do! She recently started making these corker bows and sent me some for Malia! I was so excited and in aw of how great she did and now Im trying to convince her to make and sell them. Dont you all agree?? I think there is a huge market for these I know Ive been searching for them and yes gymboree has them but they are 6-8 bucks. So come on Becki share the love!

O the Holidays

We had a really nice weekend! Well a long weekend with Rich at work and the kids at home bored but still together time is always nice right! On Saturday we did a little decorating inside and then on Sunday morning we decorated our Christmas trees, yes TREES! We have the different sized trees, more like a forest. There are 4 of them so each of us gets to decorate our own. There is the snowman tree and the Santa tree and the everything tree and the reindeer/candycane/snowflake tree! Kaden said that next year we will have to have 5 trees, one for Malia and I thought that was just so sweet that he even thought of it. Im excited for Christmas this year Im hoping for a wonderful memorable month (hopefully getting the 171-H finally). It would be great to be another step closer to our little girl, that would be a good X-Mas present!! (hint hint imigration) LOL... I love seeing houses decorated and I love the feel of our house when we have all the decorations up at night with the lights on the trees lit up! I hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday Season.

Its beginning to look like Christmas

Finished!

So no that isnt a vacation photo weve been working on this puzzle for about a week and finally finished today so I could have the table back for Thanksgiving dinner.... it was close we finished 25 minutes before dinner was done!!

Thanks Tami that was fun!

Happy Turkey Day!

Turkey and gravy and pie OH MY!!

I am as stuffed as the turkey was hehehe (sorry any vegetarians). We had a great day of lounging, puzzle making, food baking, and then food eating OH and then more food eating! We have for the second year in a row done Thanksgiving all by ourselves and I have to tell you, it is AWESOME! I love spending time with family but only having to make food we like and will eat and not have any family drama that which is always a sure thing; happen is so so nice! I hope to eventually have some more family Thanksgivings in the future with my sis but we had a really great time today!
The kids got to go play out in the snow for a little while until Maddies fingers were frozen. I realized I was pretty much on my feet all day cooking different things and I have to say that I was well organized in the timing of everything and ended up eating right when we planned! We then headed over to a friends for some desert, we took a couple of our pies and they had a couple to share with us. The kids ran around together and then we came home lounged a little more and put the kids to bed! I would like to mention what we all said we were thankful for during dinner... (family tradition)
Rich was thankful for the kids and I and all the blessings we have recieved this year!
I was thankful for the kids and Rich and really thankful for how open my kids and friends have been to us getting Malia! (Its so nice to have support and people be excited with you)
Kaden was thankful for Rich, me, Madison!
Madison was thankful for Dora movies, spiderman (yaa uhu) and her family!
Truely we have been blessed this year and I kept thinking while we were sitting there eating dinner how different it will be next year with baby girl in her high chair snacking on rolls and whatever she can grab probly.

A snowy good time!

Cuz she will have....

I found a few iron ons and searched for a black onsie and finally found one and made this today!

My little Malia will have some serious girl power! Along with her sister I will have a couple little gorgeous DIVAS on my hands Im quite sure, and I just cant wait. I looked outside today and saw some snow and was excited but Im also a little sad I thought at this point I would maybe have my referral by now but we are still waiting on the 171-H. Well all in good time good things come so I am keeping that in mind. So for now I will continue to purchase and create adorable things for my little girl as we prepare for this precious little one to fill our home.

O the looong days

So Im not sure why but this year the kids get the whole week off for Thanksgiving. I actually am enjoying it, I love sleeping in a bit and staying in my pj's for a couple hours! Now saying that much the kids get a little bored, we cant do something entertaining all day everyday. So to say they get bored is an understatement! Kaden is great at finding ways to have fun with Maddie they play games after they get sick of me (or visa versa). Yesterday Kaden dressed Maddie in his clothes and she looked like quite the gangster and she was LOVING it!! Weve played some go fish and plenty of coloring and tv, movies, games, etc. Today I decided to take them to lunch at NOODLES which I love and they do too and they each got a root beer and had a good ol' time! I enjoy having the kids home and getting to be lazy but I know by the end of the week we are all going to be sick of each other in our turkey comas!

*The music is for you Erica! lol

Vaca baby

Time for a change

Squigle lines be gone! Hello new Paint!
My good helper!
Finished....
So we have lived in our house for 6 years, I cant believe it and that means Ive had those squigily lines on my walls for probly 5 of those years. Ive been so over the walls for a couple years but Rich hasnt (really he didnt want to paint) BUT when you sit at home all day and cant get your mind off your baby whom is who knows where doing who knows what you go a little crazy and need something to keep you busy! (and retail therapy everyday can get you into trouble) hehehe.
So today I decided it was time to paint and Im so glad I did! It is more my style now with a warm chocolate color and then a light brown (paper bag) on the other walls! I even rearranged a couple pieces of furniture which isnt easy because of the layout of the room.
So Im finished I got a little help from Kaden, which probly saved me a 1/2 hour of screwing and unscrewing light switches! And now Im sitting here covered in paint my body is sore and Im seriously pooped BUT for the rest of the evening I can look around and smell O I mean look at my accomplishment and feel good! And it did end up helping take my mind off of things for awhile which was really nice! Off to find some grub...

**So you cant tell in the first picture because of the background but I had some lines on the walls that I did that seemed cool then but now not so much**

Willing

Madison is always so very willing to strike a pose. The other day instead of getting ready for school she put on some music and started modeling in the hallway, so I told her to get ready then we could take some pictures. She had decided she wanted her hair down and curly and wanted it over her shoulders so she could see the curls. It was cute because she kept pulling her hair in front and checking it out. We went in her room and right away she lays on her bed and starts to pose for me, shes really a natural and Im so glad that she is so confident to just bust a move! I was never that way I was a hider always from the camera and I still am. I really hope I can insteal that same confidence in my little Malia. Kaden and Rich are not willing participants, I dont get many pictures of Kaden because he runs away from the camera I believe it is the age because he use to be a bit more willing. I talked Rich into modeling a flower clip though! hehehe I told him I had to see if it would stay in thin hair! (who knows how much hair baby will have right) LOL
Every time I post a picture I cant help but think about what it will be like to have some Malia pictures to share. OO think of the fun we will have then!! If we could just get that darn 171-H I would be one happy mommy....

My Muses

Craftiness

I spent the morning being crafty! I made some flower barretts for Malia and Maddie (if she will wear them). I have always loved those huge flowers in babies hair, so I made some!! They can be worn in hair alone or put on a head band. Super cute! Maddie was my model which she was pleased about.

Craft Show

A visit

We went to Utah a couple weeks ago and I left my camera behind but I got it back in the mail yesterday so below are some photos from our trip. You will see pics of the kids on the plane, Maddie playing in the leaves courtesy of Kylie! There are some adorable pics of Ciara my sweet neice (who prefferred Rich over me) become a little diva with some big shades! We had a nice visit, I always love seeing my sister and her family. There arent really any pictures of the boys because Kaden and my nephew Dallin always dissapear somewhere. And really Ciara loved Rich, I think it was the first night we were there she was snuggling with him and giving him eskimo kisses, it was really sweet though it ticked me off cuz shes supposed to love me more!!

Utah trip