A thoughtful Sunday Update

So I have complained, been angry, frustrated, un-understanding, and just plain upset. WELL I allowed myself that for a couple days. But thankfully I had church today which always brings me back down to reality where life isnt bad its actually wonderful, my life is full of blessings and just because we have hit this block in the road doesnt mean Malia wont make it home.
In church as I sit and was in my own zone I was fervent in prayer asking for help in understanding and patience, I asked for my faith to return and help to not ask why. My conversation with God went on to admit I knew my anger wasnt ok and that all along I knew that things would be right and Gods will would be done. And when Malia gets home I will only feel the joy in that and not sit back and remember the hard times and the long wait.
What helped me reach this point today was remembering what the date is today and realizing that all the families still trying to adopt through Vietnam right now are just a few days away from reaching the cut off date to where if they do not have a referral they will not be getting one. My heart instantly broke for these families and I was reminded how blessed we are that we found our Malia and will without a doubt at least get to bring her home. So what if it is in 2 more or 3 more months and so what if she is already 1 years old, we are blessed to have her in our lives and are blessed to have gotten her referral.
As all these thoughts swirled around my head we had a lesson just on that, to let Gods will be done and to be accepting of that. I knew my prayers had been answered and that without a doubt God was speaking to me and letting me know that he knows how we feel but we need to remember he knows best for not only us but for our sweet Malia. So I will be patient and kind and I will remember my blessings. Im not promising to not have hard days, because they come but right now with this specific struggle I have moved past it and I have my eye on the prize!
At the end of church we closed with a song... only further proof that the Lord was by my side and comforting me and when it was over all I could think was O man! I was so disappointed in my own attitude. But I wanted to share the words of the song which happens to also be a scripture I guess, in hopes that it might help me to be reminded but maybe also find comfort for someone else who might also be in our shoes. So of course no new news to report on Malia, just scan through the last couple blogs to read what happened this week if you hadnt read already! Thanks for you continued support!

"When Faith Endures"

I will not doubt, I will not fear;

God's love and strength are always near.

His promised gift helps me to find

An inner strength and peace of mind.

I give the Father willingly

My trust, my prayers, humility.

His Spirit guides; his love assures

That fear departs when faith endures.